We were sitting reading Christmas books and Jed, one of my six-year-old grandsons said “Santa is not real.” Hmmm, I asked him to tell me more.
“Well, Santa is not real, but I still believe in him. It’s more fun that way.”
Then we went back to reading books. My kids grew up “believing” in Santa. Then I went to seminary and began working at a church. Fortunately my kids were older by this point, so I didn’t have to decide then how to handle Santa with them. I was reluctant to share some of the traditions we had when our kids were younger that involved Santa. I heard some Christians I looked up to sharing that Santa was a lie, he undermined Christmas and all Jesus believing homes should ban him.
We didn’t make a huge big deal about Santa. There would be gifts under the tree from him on Christmas morning (typically the stuff too big or bulky to wrap) and a few things in their stockings. We left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas eve and occasionally threw some reindeer food on the lawn for Rudolph and the rest of the gang. We never directly lied to our kids about Santa. If they asked if he was real, we’d ask “what do you think?” Or as they got older they’d start to figure it out on their own or we’d be more direct in our response to their questions, “No Santa is not real. But sometimes it’s fun to pretend.”. Recently another one of our six-year-old grandsons told his mom, “Even Amazon takes more than one day. And like the whole world doesn’t order Amazon on the same day. And more than one person works for Amazon. So how could one guy do it?!” Alex too is starting to figure it out.
We also spent lots of time talking about Jesus and why we celebrate Christmas. We read all kinds of Christmas books, those with Jesus and those with Santa, a mouse named mortimer, a crippled lamb and all kinds of kids’ Christmas books. We talked about God’s gift to us through Jesus, and how we give gifts to remind us of that very special gift. Also giving gifts is fun. Bringing joy to others, being generous, is what God calls us to do and it’s good for the giver too.
And if we dig a bit, Santa’s roots are in a real man, Nicholas of Bari, who was also called Saint Nicholas. He lived over 2,000 years ago and was a Bishop in the church and a follower of Jesus. He was known for his generosity, especially to the poor. So while the guy in the red suit being driven around the world to deliver gifts is absolutely not real, he was inspired by the life of a real life bishop who lived during the Roman Empire in Myra in Asia Minor (today it’s Demre, Turkey). Some of the details are foggy as it was so long ago, but historians agree that this bishop followed Jesus teachings as he would “sell his possessions and give to the poor.” Matthew 19:21.
As the years passed, the actual events around Saint Nicholas’ life may have been exaggerated and were used as the basis of jolly Old Saint Nick, AKA Santa Claus. Giving gifts is typically a good thing. I think where we mess it up is when we tie gifts to performance. For example, Elf on the shelf who creeps around the house waiting for kids to mess up so he can report back to Santa. Or threatening that kids will end up on the naughty list and get a lump of coal if they don’t clean their room, treat their sister kindly or (insert any other performance you’d like to manipulate in your kid). We give gifts because we want to bless others, not as a payment for good performance. The gift of Jesus is not something we earn or have to work to keep. It’s a gift. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:8–10 Gifts from us, grandparents or even Santa Claus should be approached the same way — as a gift that can’t be earned.
I imagine some Christians are reading this and feeling uncomfortable and maybe even a tad bit angry. I’ve heard the arguments. Some Christians are adamant that their kids know the “truth” at an early age and ban any talk or imagery of Santa from their homes. People get mad when Santa is brought to school (and passes out treats), or comes to (gasp) church. I’ve even heard some say that Santa is tied to satanic beliefs. Yikes.
You may be thinking, but Christmas should focus on Jesus. I totally agree. I believe that we can focus on Jesus and still have some fun with other Christmas traditions, like baking cookies. I don’t think baking cookies with our kids and delivering them to neighbors and friends, or even eating them all ourselves, detracts from the true meaning of Christmas. You probably have a list of traditions of your own that create moments of family bonding and memories that live on through the years, that don’t point directly to Jesus, however they do point to things that Jesus is about, like family and joy. So can we all agree to just take a deep breath and chill out a bit.
Jesus is why we celebrate Christmas. And Jesus used all kinds of stories and even some parables (these were not actual events or real people) to point to the truth. So go ahead and set those cookies out for Santa, then enjoy them yourselves after the kids are in bed. Create your own Christmas traditions that point to family, fun and Jesus. Let your kids’ imaginations run wild. I agree with Jed. I think it’s more fun that way.
